Courtesy of RJ/Wikimedia Commons

If I’ve learned anything from Eminem‘s song Business, it’s that “hip-hop is in a state of 911.” I’m sure many long-time rap and hip-hop fans will agree. Pop-rap these days is mindless, soulless and annoying; and one of the biggest offenders is a tiny little guy from New Orleans who calls himself Lil Wayne.

With such deep, thought-provoking lyrics as “real G’s move in silence like lasagna,” Lil Wayne and his leopard print skinny jeans have managed to become one (two?) of the bestselling artists of the decade.
This article reflects the opinions of the author and not necessarily those of Running Lip as a publication

Backed by his Young Money Entertainment/Cash Money Records cohorts (which include the pink-haired medicated Barbie wannabe otherwise known as Nicki Minaj, and Drake, the tween Canadian TV star turned softest rapper in the world), this guy’s lyrics are so inane that one has to wonder if even he knows what they mean. COEDMagazine even voted Lil Wayne’s lyrics from his feature on the Drake song ‘Unstoppable’ as the second dumbest rap lyrics of all time.

He even stopped writing down his lyrics, telling VH1’s Behind the Music that “The only way I won’t be able to rap anything I’ve written again is to record everything I’ve ever written before once.” Yeah. So it’s not just his lyrics that leave people dumbfounded. One has to wonder if that ubiquitous white Styrofoam cup of “purple drank” is affecting more than his motor skills.

On one hand, it’s hard to blame the guy for knowing what sells and capitalizing on it. With veteran rappers like indie-label phenomenon Tech N9ne finally breaking into mainstream rap after decades in relative obscurity while pouring real life into his lyrics and tackling difficult subjects, why should anybody want to go the hard route? On the other hand, shouldn’t these folks have some sense of responsibility to provide reasonably well-crafted music to their listeners?

Apparently not. Case in point, his most recent single is a song called ‘No Worries.’ Among the literary genius that is Lil Wayne’s on-the-fly lyrical style is this little pearl of wisdom: “Hope your barber shop open cause we got hair triggers / Smoke so much that Smokey the Bear, have to bear with us.”

As if we needed further proof that not only does Lil Wayne suck, he may also be one of the dumbest people alive, there was a documentary made about him by Quincy Jones III. The video, which features weed and “sizzurp” fueled footage, is “scandalous” according to Lil Wayne, although it will likely not come as a shock to most people that the rapper is usually under the influence of something. Among the other reasons why Lil Wayne didn’t want the docu-film released were some females that he, for lack of a less offensive term, spent time with on film. “Why give them some shine when I’ve got baby mothers?”

As part of the effort to block the release of the documentary, called The Carter, Lil Wayne appeared in a videotaped deposition wherein he threatens Jones’ lawyer and manages to not only make himself look stupid, but stupidly arrogant as well.

“Have I ever hired a photographer to photograph an event? Sorry, sir, no. I’m a superstar. People hire them themselves to photograph me. We don’t hire them.”

To make matters worse he then goes on to, allegedly, threaten the lawyer examining him in the deposition, suggesting that the judge ‘can’t save him in the real world.’ When asked if it was a threat, Wayne hilariously responds “I was talking to myself,” despite looking the lawyer square in the eyes.

Much like his music, his arrogant and threatening manner is a major departure from the example set by the real rappers that came before him. Case in point, Tupac Shakur allowed his intelligence to shine through, remaining respectful and supremely coherent despite being questioned for almost four hours after the family of a slain State Trooper sued the rapper, claiming music played a role in the shooting.

With his generally weak lyrics and less than appealing personality all considered, one has to wonder if Lil Wayne is using Jedi mind tricks to get kids to buy his records. I can just see Biggie and Tupac rolling in their graves.